Thursday, August 2, 2007

life in the unbearably slow lane

I know many people find it alarmingly weird that I not only read my horoscope (actually two different ones - on my bathroom calendar & online) everyday, but that I actually keep the info in my brain as I go about my business. And that I read The Secret Language of Birthdays to decide when to have my children but more on that another time; I don't want to completely alienate every reader in one sitting. I like to think of these as easy ways God can talk to me because I am otherwise too busy running around like an idiot to pay attention. I pray about my day each morning (and then periodically every hour or so as I encounter more individuals whom Jesus surely loves but everyone else thinks is an asshole...), but I have a hard time slowing down to really listen to responses. I'm working on that, thus my special room and the amazing Ritva.

Yesterday, Yahoo astrologers told me that others were going to be on their own schedules and I would have to adjust my speed. Now obviously God could just put those turtles in front of me and call it good, but He knows me and is kind enough to give a heads-up so I don't completely lose my mind in public. Case in point: I have been struggling to find the perfect way to get both of my kids to their day camps in Portland (1) reasonably on time and (2) with a sane mother who is not shouting "GO GO GO!" as she screeches to the curb and flings open the door. We were all ready to go with breakfast and without sadness yesterday by 8am. Woohoo! In the car, buckled, pleasant, everyone has lunches, away we go, we're gonna be EARLY! La la la. Oh, did I remember to grab my phone? Wait a minute...My purse. Is not. Here. Picture, those who know the flesh & bone me, my raised fist/growling grimace face move. I was already on the highway, so no turning around - it's backtrack the long way, baby. Sloooooow down, says the Lord. Chuckling and shaking his head, I'm sure. Pointing and saying "Check this one out" to St. Peter, et al. The cool thing is, there was an interesting story on the radio that allowed the kids & I to talk about gratitude and graciousness (which kept me from seething the entire 25 minutes it took to drive home then get back on the highway). Plus we ended up being only 10 minutes late to Mason's class (Paige was right on time). Waddya know?

Then there was this morning. After nine days of taking the same route and getting the same frustrating results (definition of insanity, anyone?), I let go of my well-intentioned-but-stubbornly-stupid controlling tendencies and took the alternate way. Fifteen minutes early for Paige's class, and we would have been exactly on time for Mason's but for a train crossing. A 10-minute/40 mile long train through downtown Portland, but I was okay with it! I sang "Glamorous" and busted some moves while Mason joyfully read a Spider-Man comic. Today I envision Jesus with a proud expression, giving high fives all around and doing the victorious arm-pump thing. I'm learning. Slooooooowwwwly.

6 comments:

Lisa Milton said...

Nothing beats Jesus giving high fives, all around.

Enjoy your morning!

Nicole Kruse said...

Sure glad to know that I am not the
only person that reads 2 horoscopes a day.....I love the fact that I can have a "heads up" on the day. I also pray ALL DAY that my children and I can survive each other until Ryan comes home :)

bliss said...

LOL i like to read my horoscope every day too. but usually at the end of the day. i don't want to be unduly influenced, you see. '-) i've gotta check our local library for that book about birthdays. i've never heard of it before and it sounds interesting. thanks bad mom. :-)

bliss said...

alriiiiiight! they've got the book. i'm reserving it online. looks like they got a ton of "the secret..." books. hmmm...

Aaron & Alaine said...

Cracking up that Jesus and Peter, Paul, et al, had time to stop cracking up over here and help some other folks out! LOL

Suzanne said...

Y'know, if everyone's horoscope said something about s-l-o-w-i-n-g down, the world would be a much nicer place. Maybe one day the planets will align just so... MANY high fives will be slapped that day...

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