wish lists

A Very Special Rerun from Winter 2010

When I was a kid, my mom bringing home the Sears Holiday Catalog felt like getting ONE MILLION DOLLARS dropped into my lap. For a few delicious hours, I could have EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED [that was sold at Sears]. I went through it in three calculated stages - first, dog-earing pages featuring anything I was remotely interested in. Next, I dreamily reviewed those pages and used a broad-tip, exquisitely toxic black marker to circle those items I actually thought my parents might buy for me. Finally, I neatly wrote the item descriptions & quantities of everything I truly desired on notebook paper and if I desperately needed something (like the popularity-enhancing matching Shaun Cassidy pants and t-shirt), I would cut out the catalog picture and glue it on the notebook paper next to its listing. (Got the t-shirt but not the pants and, sadly, popularity remained static).

I still relish the idea of creating wish lists - for everyone, not just myself; sometimes I add things to my kids' Amazon lists because I am certain they simply did not think of asking for Star Wars trombone music or a German pencil sharpener but would really love getting it.

Today, with less than 3 weeks until Christmas [yes; try not to panic], I am designing lists of gifts I wish for certain people who inhabit my world. If I had a Sears catalog, I would cut out pertinent pictures and glue them on notebook paper, too, for emphasis.

For My Husband:
A personal (volunteer) masseuse; freedom from worrying about his hair loss; long, straight stretches of radar-less highway for driving his Cobra; a wife who spends as much time cooking, cleaning, and performing other domestic duties as she does composing hilarious Facebook updates

For My Kids [beyond the sheet music and school supplies]:
The ability to believe your parents when they tell you what remarkable traits + talents they've noticed you developing; a pause button for the universe when you need to take a few extra breaths and compose a coherent response to the girl/boy/teacher looking at/talking to you; the capacity to hold onto all the memories of your best lunch conversations and after-school meet-ups and momentsthatfeellikecenturies in the hallways

For My Friends:
Long periods of uninterrupted time to spend with me, drinking tea and other beverages, eating delectable foods, and talking about everything that brings us joy (and a little snark); more memories of their favorite things - watching kids growing & acting & making music, volunteering valuable skills, traveling, baking, reading in silence, writing future Pulitzer Prize winners

For Fellow Teachers:
The energy to keep delivering knowledge + wisdom + care; extended moments of quiet; time to thoroughly enjoy the activities that you love as much as teaching but give you a tad more peace of mind; unlimited back rubs and frequent spa days

For Our Students:
Warm, comforting places to be outside of school; the solid belief that we teachers love and value them regardless of their backgrounds, faults, and occasional attitudes; visions of a positive future

For Some People I Shall Not Name:
Clarity, honesty, self-awareness, humility, and more than a touch of class & tact in certain circumstances [everyday life]

For My Readers:
Continued good taste in blog material; time to indulge in simple pleasures as well as a few extravagant ones; more opportunities to meet up with your favorite people, in real life and from cyberspace

 

~ To all, blessings & best WISHES ~

live wire love

Though I am a longtime listener of public radio, somehow I never thought about the audiences I hear reacting to the shows being actual people in an actual venue enjoying an actual performance in front of them. It's obviously an audial medium - I just didn't consider it a visual medium as well. Yes, I have multiple teaching degrees and am in charge of many young people's futures. Anyway.

A few years ago my lovely & socially well-connected friend invited us to watch the radio show Live Wire, which is recorded and broadcast in Portland [but now syndicated across the country - tune in!]. I pictured us sitting in a cramped room staring at people wearing gigantic headphones leaning into microphones to deliver lines. Okay, I guess...is there wine? I'm in.

The first time we went, I had no idea who any of the guests were. None. Yet it was one of the funniest, most interesting & engaging & satisfying experiences I've ever had in public. We promptly bought tickets for the next recording featuring Storm Large, Dan Savage, and Stephanie Schneider; it was incredible. There are expertly written & delivered comedy skits, songs from often little-known (though sometimes wildly known - The Dandy Warhols - or well-known artists joining other groups) but immensely talented musicians, plus interviews with authors or activists or politicians or businesspeople or actors. And aside from the actual performances, the best part of watching a radio show is hearing the off-tape asides and watching the do-overs, which almost always include lots of good-natured swearing.

To be clear, it is not in a cramped room - though the theater is comfortably intimate - and the participants do not wear headphones. They do wear some great shoes though. And there is, indeed, wine.

Because of the smaller venue and the very kind + tolerant members of Live Wire, I've been able to stalk stick around and chat with performers & guests after shows. Some people are incredibly gracious and sign my program or carefully stolen poster, which I then hang in my classroom to prove I am at least a tiny bit cool for having met Carrie Brownstein, Chris Shiflett from Foo Fighters, a writer for Family Guy, and the voice of SpongeBob.

We have become part of the League of Extraordinary Listeners because they give t-shirts & vodka and invite us to special events* this group of people deserves as much support as I can give - for sharing their talents, for exposing me to brilliant authors & musicians & regular people doing amazing things. I am personally enriched, of course, but I can then take these discoveries back to my students - I can make important connections with them, and I'm not only sharing new and interesting things but showing how they too can brighten the world with their passions; how they can get involved in important movements, locally & globally; how simple, small ideas from one or two people can become revolutions.

*They really do offer these and other fantastic incentives for donating money. It IS public radio, people. Pledge & get swag!

Yes, a radio show can be watched. It can be a marvelous entertainment. And it can be used to change hearts & minds.

MANday Monday ~ Walking drop Dead gorgeous

Let me take care of those zombies for you.



I am a latecomer to The Walking Dead series, mainly because we are cheap cable people. But after being assigned to guard a table for two of the stars at Emerald City Comicon last year, I decided it was important that I obsess about take a look at it.

 

 



Jon Bernthal is the guy I met at ECCC and while supercute & very nice, I became more smitten with the charming & chivalrous Sheriff Rick in the show.

I watched an entire season before realizing Andrew Lincoln is a) British and b) the darling dude in love with his best friend's girl in the irresistibly treacly quintessential chick flick Love Actually.

Adorable, actually

Then I had to dig out my DVD to watch it again. And again. And...my 1st husband has grown weary.

As far as I can tell, Mr. Lincoln's only fault is having a ridiculously whiny onscreen wife, which was [SPOILER ALERT] remedied this season.

So now, no more debates. Happy Monday, America.


Manday, much better than Monday

Just like I'm trying to make peace with Sundays, I hope that by henceforth calling Monday 'Manday,' the beginning of the work week will be much improved.
[Mad props here to Mrs. G's glorious Mancake/Bigger Love feature at Derfward Manor]

 

First entry, the smartastic NPR hottie who moonlights as a crooner with Pink Martini and is surely honored to be my newest Potential 2nd Husband : Ari Shapiro

 

He's very serious[ly sexy]
NPR photo

Be still my heart
photo by Walter Grio 2011

 

 

Bonding at Live Wire!
photo by adoring & infinitely patient 1st husband

 

Swoon.
I kind of want to start Monday/Manday all over again.

My girl Mrs. G (I'VE MET HER!) at Derfwad Manor has this fun thing for me to do and I really want to do it. You want to read it, I bet.

1) Who are an actor and actress you like so much you will watch anything they are in, even if it's crappy?  Ryan Gosling and Kate Winslet, though I don't think they've been in anything crappy yet...But I'll watch when it happens.

2) Mary Tyler Moore or Rhoda?  I'd really like to say Rhoda because she was EXTREMELY hip, but I'm totally MTM.

4) What is your favorite Beatles' song?  If I Fell makes me swoon to pieces.

5) When you want to laugh, who or what do you turn to?  Sometimes my husband, but mostly Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.

6) What is something you have a hard time doing?  Saying no.

7) What was the most pleasant thing that happened to you yesterday? Spontaneous private time with my man & John Mayer.

Extra Credit: What's a new blog you've discovered that you are enjoying? Sadly, I discover little during the school year because I am hysterical overwhelmed pretty busy. But I am so pleased to be rediscovering Mrs. G's fabulousness.

14/365 "bright"

Bright lights, big city
Portlandia calls to me
90s are alive!

holiday highs

Rainboots on Wahlbergs and whiskers on Goslings

Bright silver bracelets and warm hotel lodgings

Tiffany-blue packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Green-colored monies and crisp appletinis

New books and old books and cheese tortellinis

Wide airplane seats open right over the wings

These are a few of my favorite things

Little black dresses that make me look thinner

Snowflakes that come down and stick all through dinner

Long winter breaks that blend into Springs

These are a few of my favorite things

When the girl whines

When the teen groans

When I'm feeling riled

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so ... homicidal.



Hey girl, Merry Christmas.



counting

Good things in hundreds:

Cents, Bens, years of solitude,

And weeks of haiku.

Happy Anniversary, Jenn at You know...that Blog?

once more with feeling

A music-themed list submitted for your approval
~ click the links for fun ~

1. I love to boogie.

2. With a wink and a smile.

3. It's how you look at things ~ always on the bright side.

4. Girl don't tell me!

5. Well, would you still love me?

6. Bring on the spring peepers.




7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to exhaling after a whirlwind week of responsibility, tomorrow my plans include chaperoning [and possibly embarrassing students with my dancing] at our school's prom, and Sunday I want to sleep most of the day!

Bring on the Friday Fill-Ins

i will not eat them on an iceberg but might try them with mark wahlberg

I am honored to have been contacted by the kind & certainly lovely Margot at Random House Children's Books to promote the 50th anniversary of Dr. Seuss's publication of Green Eggs and Ham. As an English major, reading teacher & mom, how can I not love this book? Especially considering the amazing fact the he used only 50 repeated words to create a memorable story for generations to share. (A special foil-covered Party Edition copy of which I get to give away to one lucky reader! Leave a comment, I'll enter you in a drawing; details below).

Random House Children's division is hosting the HAM IT UP video contest with prizes ranging from a library of Dr. Seuss books to a $100 gift card from the National Pork Board (LOVE IT!) to framed serigraphs to a Grand Prize package including a Flip camcorder, one year's supply of ham, and $2000 cash. Dude. I am seriously considering entering with my good friend/fellow cute-celebrity-stalker Holly - we have a great ode to our favorite stalkees going along the lines of this post's title...

ANYWAY - the contest started last week and people can start voting on entries October 5th, but you have until November 3rd to submit your original video referencing the characters, objects, dialogue, and/or story of Green Eggs and Ham. [Find all the other important rules here.] And if/when you enter a video, be sure to tell your family & friends (that includes me!) to vote for you online.


They do not like to sit so near
unless their mother sheds a tear
and promises them some root beer. 
*The book you can win looks like this one I got free from Random House Children's Books for promoting their verycool video contest*

Leave a comment below (preferably a pleasant one but it's not an official rule) and I will let one of those adorable kids of mine pull a name out of a stripey hat next Sunday (October 10). [One entry per person, please.] Be sure to include a link or e-mail in the comment so I can reach you if you're the winner. And then you can say Thank you! Thank you, Bad-Mom-I-am.

And I will say no - thanks to Dr. Seuss for his wonderfully wacky world.
I do so like it, here and there.

feel good friday

1. Laughter keeps me alive. And sane.

2. "The unfortunate part" are the three words that started off the last email I sent.

3. What I'm most looking forward to today is solidfying plans for my birthday celebration tomorrow.

4. Thinking about my man/men puts a smile on my face.

5. Where in the world is it acceptable to sleep till noon? Like, everyday.

6. Last weekend's Divorce Debauchery party was just what I needed!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to calm & quiet [I might need earplugs and lots of wine], tomorrow my plans include something fun in honor of my birthday (did I mention my birthday is coming up?), and Sunday I want to get things organized for school. Or maybe just sleep in.
 
 

TGIFriday Fill-Ins

of vegas and bunions

In the past ten days, I have lived two wildly different lives. 

Jetsetter

Stu & I stayed here, in a junior suite (our first regular-people room smelled strongly of smoke, and because I did not do a Lindsay-style rant when I brought it to their attention we were rewarded). I took this picture from ghostbar, where supposedly fabulous people hang out inside for $400 per table. We hung out outside for free, standing.

Before heading up to this hot spot, we joined friends for dinner at N9ne downstairs. With our cocktails, onion ring appetizer, and Mediterranean salad & Oscar filet mignon entrees, the bill was something along the lines of a portion of our children's college savings so far. But that is how we gamble - on food, which turned out sublime; I find that far more satisfying than dropping cash into slot machines or onto card tables where I am only guaranteed a watered-down drink and visions of life in a cramped apartment with Nicolas Cage.

Later we went to Rain where, as you can see, NO DRUGS OR NUDITY were allowed. Just in case we forgot. Our common sense.

I stood in line while Stu ran up to our room to drop off souvenirs from our evening at Crazy Horse Paris (which I have been wanting to see for years - we tried to get tickets in Singapore and when we were actually in Paris but no go. We shared our tiny stageside table with the darling groom-to-be Dirk and his friend Dustin from Boise, who I believe were impressed that people as old and married as we could be funny and even kind of interesting). During my brief-but-felt-like-eternal wait on the Rain line, I met the implausibly named [and coiffed] Demarius. He began our interaction with "That is a very unique tattoo" breathed on my neck in his Antonio Banderas accent. I managed to maintain a respectable conversation despite such diversions as "I am sure your students have crushes on you" and "You are a very hot mom" and the capper, "So...You do not so much party as you just have a cocktail or some wine?" After five hours of my dodging innuendo, Stu reappeared and jokingly asked Demarius if I was bothering him. Then we escaped into the mania of the nightclub. It was 2 a.m.

Bubbles were the most innocuous part of the entertainment. There were flames above our heads, bungee acrobats and a suspended ribbon dancer, go-go waifs gyrating on platforms, and performance artists sending sparks over the dance floor by grinding on each other's metal outfits. Like with an actual grinding tool.

Couchsitter

Last week, I had my second bunion removed and have been spending most of my hot mom life sleeping or perusing trashy magazines. Like the first time, surgery went fine despite my high anxiety, and recovery is going alright despite my OCD. Luckily I have a husband & friends who understand my insane way of asking for help, which is to not ask, and just do stuff for me. Even the crazy stuff, like helping me into regular clothes though it doesn't make sense at 7 p.m., or setting up my vast reading station though I'm just going to fall asleep within five minutes of sitting down.

To shake things up Vegas-style, I did have some exciting drama Thursday when I passed out in the morning and threw up twice, prompting a 6-hour ER stay to determine the cause. But alas, the SW Washington ER is not nearly as thrilling as the George Clooney TV version; no one there looked remotely like precious Carter, nobody rushed in bleeding or cursing or shooting up the place, not a bit of dramatic music played during any of my myriad tests. However, on the positive side, I was not diagnosed with a rare & mysterious illness - just plain old low blood sugar/low blood pressure + stupidity on my part. 

Though I am not [yet] back to drinking raspberry lemon drops by the gallon or dancing under fire until 3 a.m., I have brazenly worn my tight Merlotte's t-shirt to Blockbuster and chatted extensively with my secret boyfriend. WILD.

I know.

make stuff happen

Coupeville, WA
photo by me, 2009

sometimes we do things -

impressive, monumental

things. but not always.

freedom friday

1. Wine (can we call that food?) and deviled eggs -- the best food to take on a picnic.

2. Summer is only a handful of days away!

3. My toes just say no to flip flops.

4. To love someone is blissfully frightening. Or frighteningly blissful?

5. No more plans for a long hike.

6. When I crave food, it's usually something involving bread & cheese.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to vats of True Blood, tomorrow my plans include date night at Cirque Dreams, and Sunday I want to delight in a gathering of friends.

Fabulous Friday Fill-Ins

may showers, good stuff & wet stuff

1. The impending weekend never fails to make me smile.

2. I'm looking forward to moving in to my new classroom!

3. Stereomood is what I'm listening to right now.

4. Potato salad must have haiku-ju-ju in it!

5. Crackers & Irish cheese was the best thing I ate today.

6. Today was a blessed challenge, like all the others.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the elementary school talent show, tomorrow my plans include a walking tour of Portland in the fricking rain, and Sunday I want to walk around Portland in the fricking rain some more, then sleep for 12 hours or so.

Friday Fill-ins just feel fine

merriment

1. Salsa and tango and mambo, oh my.

2. It's Friday and you've even got mustard [I don't know what that's supposed to mean; I'm going with stream-of-consciousness here].

3. By the time I get home I'm ready to rock. Wherein "rock" means drink some wine & watch some Deadwood.

4. Previously, Grocery Boy; now, free samples. And sometimes Dairy/Freezer Guy is what I look forward to most when grocery shopping.

5. And I was dreaming of all kinds of wacky naughty unmentionable things. Did I say that out loud?

6. Date night with my man, who doesn’t blink when I reveal secret boyfriends and potential second husbands...is there anything else better?!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to possibly squeezing in a movie with BestHusbandEver while kids are with friends, tomorrow my plans include garage sale shopping, plant sale browsing, two tea parties, and a funky opera, and Sunday I want to continue relishing the mom-love!

Friday Fill-Ins, recommended by mothers everywhere

love my bartender

My man Dave has asked (and offered free cocktails if I comply*) for my help winning him a trip to NYC to learn Japanese Bartending [I have no idea what that means - Everything fits in the palm of your hand? The shot glasses have Hello Kitty on them? You have to dress like a naughty schoolgirl??]

So PLEASE do this very easy thing: Go to Cocktail Kingdom and move David Shenaut to the #1 spot in the voting box. You do have to put other people in the #2-10 slots in order for your vote to go through; I chose women who sounded sassy but nice and men's names that didn't remind me of boys who've been mean to me. I call that seriously Scientific.

*He really didn't.

But he usually gives me a little something special if I pout and sigh enough, which I think is a very good quality in a bartender.

We thank you for your consideration.

Cheers.

tgif. seriously.

1. Wouldn't it be easy if I could command a do-over everytime I screwed up.

2. Being a grown-up is now better than ever!

3. I love the taste of victory. And righteousness.

4. No dying allowed in the living room.

5. The first thing we're going to do is kill all the lawyers. KIDDING! We'll just tie them up.

6. Listen: drip, drip, drip; you should get a cream for that! [this response courtesy of my husband Stu, who will be playing the role of 14-year old boy today].

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to watching Bright Star with my reluctant man, tomorrow my plans include extreme productivity in cleaning house & outlining the new quarter, and Sunday I want to use all my coupons that expire on 1/31.

The joy of Friday Fill-Ins fills my heart;
now you do it.

my stately pleasure dome is a roller disco, too

In my excitement about driving today, I forgot to mention in my weekend plans that we're going to see the Broadway version of Xanadu tonight. So my day will be about alternating laundry & napping with a few errands thrown in - maybe shopping for some sparkly blue eyeshadow? I wonder if I can get my hair to feather...

friday, love me do

1. There are places I can go where teenagers are not allowed HallelujahThankyouJesus.

2. A couple of snow days could blow those clouds away.

3. Standing in the anyplace is pretty taxing for me lately.

4. It'sFridayIt'sFridayIt'sFriday, oh boy.

5. He went out tiger hunting and brought back a cougar [ba DUM bum].

6. Not much can keep my mind from wandering .

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Chipotle & Daybreakers date night with my best man, tomorrow my plans include a little thing called A PLAYOFF GAME, and Sunday I want to stay in bed all day.

This Beatle-tastic list brought to you by
the Magical Mystery Friday Fill-Ins