Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

vision check

I guess I am lamely late to this controversial party and I anticipate some backlash against my perspective yet here I go...

This article about the Robin Thicke song/video "Blurred Lines" has a few valid points : it is absolutely not ever okay to assume consent from anyone for anything, Mr. Thicke could cool it on some language & imagery and do a better job of obviously mocking misogynistic attitudes, and no one would be paying all that much attention if YouTube hadn't banned the video [for a minute].

However - here is where I might go sideways with some very sensitive, intelligent, well-respected women I know and I hope they will still like me - I think this song & video are essentially supposed to be about how sex should be fun for everyone, and naked lady bodies are a joy to behold. Clearly it has an embarrassingly hetero-centric viewpoint, which I think makes it an easier target for those (rightfully) concerned about the objectification of woman. And I certainly do not condone treating a woman (or any partner) as a thing or property, without rights, incapable of thinking, or disallowed choices. 

But in this song & video? It seems to me Robin, T.I., and Pharrell are being silly boys getting all jazzy about pretty girls. That happens, it's natural (with variations for different orientations), and frankly, it's a compliment [ALTHOUGH I do not want to be called a 'bitch' EVER; that is indeed a grave lyrical error on their part]. But if we're looking to engage in conversation & change perspectives in any way, we have to address the reality of physical attraction and base sexual desires.

I don't think I can say anymore at this point that could smartly compare to these women's creatively astute responses:

A strongly-homosexual take that is brilliant though quite naughty in some places so NSFW or around children who haven't yet seen some South Park, Arrested Development, or any Kevin Smith movies: "Ask First" by J. Mary Burnet & Kaleigh Trace.

And the Mod Carousel gender-swap version helps make even more clear the point of sex=yummy & saucy & empowering. Some of the half-naked boys are wearing makeup, and ALL of them are freaking adorable + having fun. Also NSFW but less terrifying for your pre-teens in terms of references to activities that make 40something high school teachers blush [see above].
 
Overall, what I talk about with my teenage boy & girl when examining popular music/movies/books/TV/websites, is that no one looks menacing or acts demeaning at a partner or, conversely, no one seems scared or dominated (without delighting in the domination, which is possible amongst consenting partners). While the song played on the radio seems more catchy & teasing than awful, the video is admittedly obnoxious and potentially confusing. The lyrics and the behaviors displayed definitely need discussion with young folk who are trying to figure out how this whole relationship stuff works - when we like + trust each other, we say sassy things and think we're cute (or we tell each other when we're uncomfortable and respect each other's lines, which should not be blurred because we're being honest). If we don't know each other, we are not allowed to make any such comments without fear that - as the straightforward ladies say in "Ask First" - someone will "break your f*cking knees."

Hey hey hey?
 

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

zoinks squared

So an invitation from Yelp Portland came [um] in my inbox today for the Air Sex World Championship.

I sincerely believed it was a joke entry on their newsletter but alas, it is not.

I visited the official website and was interested to find 1) it is real and 2) a concerned citizen took precious time & energy to e-mail the group about how wrong their event is. Note I didn't say I was surprised about either of these things; anything one can possibly imagine will eventually be brought to fruition by someone, and there is an unfortunate glut of people willing to rage about situations that in no way affect them.

Let me be clear - I will never, ever, ever enter the Air Sex World Championship nor would I choose to attend (walking through the Sexmuseum in Amsterdam nearly broke my eyebrows with the perpetual raising). But honestly, this type of shall-we-say exercise does nothing to hurt me or my family. I mean, if the venue were midday at Pioneer Square or our local library I'd be annoyed, but damaged? No. My kids & I have witnessed plenty of real live weirdness (not sponsored by a search engine) amongst the citizens of Portland and Seattle; I explain as best I can while we walk away, no harm done.

Thus I am perplexed by the e-mailer's vehement stance against the air sexers (sexists?). I find it sad that he believes his grandmother would have been killed by this contest, or stupidity in general - she could not possibly have gotten to grandmother status without encountering a great deal of stupidity in the world. But I got a grand laugh from this: You got caught jerking off (probably in an embarrassing way), is that how you ‘spawned’ the idea? It begs the question - can one be caught jerking off in a not-embarrassing way? Maybe I'm missing something...

In the end [heh], I'm intrigued by the concept of this event and the boldness of its participants, but not enough to check it out. Anyone out there brave enough, report back. But no pictures. Okay maybe.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

weekenders

We spent the first part of Saturday with hundreds of Girl Scouts from around the area as they 'bridged' from one level to another. Paige moved from Brownies to Juniors after walking across Portland's Steel Bridge [photos of that part of our afternoon are sadly absent as my camera battery unceremoniously died].


The second half of yesterday & first hours of today were rated R for language, alcohol consumption, and ahem sexual content [the slideshow is not graphic, however].

Thursday, March 12, 2009

motherscribed

The most gracious JCK [whom I met in real life at BlogHer '08!] of Motherscribe is conducting an interview series about feminism, aging, parenting, identity & sex and SHE used MY answers first! Color me pleased & so very honored to be featured at her blog.

I recommend you check out her artwork & writings; she is immensely talented, enormously compassionate, and has a wicked sense of humor & justice. The only unfortunate thing about her? She lives too-many-hundred miles away to share a little whiskey tea with me every afternoon.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

more sex talk

It just never ends with preteens.

Scene: Stu & I were being playfully frisky in the kitchen while the kids did homework nearby.

Paige: NO! (Running to break us apart) No Voldemort!

Me: Um, we're not really doing Voldemort here in front of everyone; just kissing.

Mason: (With a completely serious demeanor) So have you guys actually done Voldemort since Paige was born?

Stu & I: (Stunned speechless momentarily) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Uh, yes.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

sex talk

Recently, our 10-year old asked if we could please not use the word "sex" around him. Understand that we, his parents, do not typically go on and on about sex with our children; we happened at that point to be talking about the upcoming "Health & Hygiene" movie for 5th graders.

We asked which word he would prefer we use for a very natural part of life. Of course he rolled his eyes at that - MOM (said in two syllables & a sigh) - then mentioned some wacky phrase that his friend says instead of sex. I asked why he felt he couldn't stand to hear the real word, which brought on uncomfortable wiggles and fidgets so I offered an alternative I could live with: Voldemort. For the uninitiated (shame on you), Voldemort is the wizard who tries to kill Harry Potter; his power is diminished when people say his name aloud - so it would follow that using his name in place of s-e-x diminishes the weirdness of the word. At the very least, it sounds pretty hilarious in conversation and now we can actually discuss you-know-what without aggravation.

Today being Football Day in Bad Momland, the TV was rife with ads for a particular male-oriented dysfunction. Mason made a comment about how "weird" they are so I asked if he knew what the drug is for. He made a face and said "So old guys, like in their 50s, can, you know..." I told him it's not necessarily just for "old guys" (and 50s does not necessarily equal old) then asked (because I'm cruel), "And what do you mean by 'you know'?" More eye-rolling so I clarified, "You're right, though it's specifically to help if a man's penis is not working properly for...Voldemort." Which produced gales of laughter all around, then this from the boy:

"Mom. He would use his 'wand' for Voldemort."

Saturday, July 12, 2008

what i did this summer, by bad mom

I was invited on a playdate in Portland last night,


at the home of CamiKaos.
She has tats all over her body. We got to see.



Miss Burrows was the co-host & other counselor.

She rocks the kitty mask, no?
(Don't ask what is sticking up in front of her...)



There was ambiance.

We imagine the elderly neighbors got an eyeful with that peephole there.



There was a bodyguard.

No boys allowed!




Other cool people were invited to play.

Giddy came all the way from California,
with excellent shoes & wit.



Joleine drove herself over with a sprained ankle.
Her toughness kind of scared me.



MediaChick is supermodel tall and kickass bold.



Verso, our resident Girl Geek, brought her supernatural tech knowledge.
And her sparkly brand-new, beaten-from-the-hands-of-an-unsuspecting-yuppie, iPhone.


There was reading material.

And props.


There were snacks.
(Joleine baked, frosted, & decorated these, on her sprained ankle.
Seriously, still a little scared).

Like the real thing, not as tasty as they are cute.
(The sprinkles, not the cupcakes - they were delicious!)


Then there was a show! I'm famous(ish)!
Mr. Kaos pushed all the right buttons.


There were more snacks.

I like my marshmallows like my men - on fire.


What it looked like after a few cocktails.


There were threats.

No skulls were actually harmed during Camp Naughty.
Brain cells maybe.

There was swag!


Thanks, most excellent counselors!



I can't wait for the next installment.
Maybe there will be a show & tell.
How about Truth or Dare with the folks next door?


The weather was great. Wish you were there.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

summer camp for bad moms


I'm not quite sure what I've gotten myself into, but CamiKaos & Miss Burrows have concocted [I said "cock"] something for a few local ladies this Friday, and I am busting [snicker] out of my comfort zone to see what's going down [snort]. (P. S. I will not be talking like Beavis at the camp; I've seen the other women going and am certain they could break my glasses & make me cry).

I can't promise a full report of the goings-on (I'm pretty sure I'll have to sign some sort of privacy clause, maybe pinky swear, perhaps there will be tongue-binding spells; you see how clueless I am about the whole thing), but I will give as many details as I can when I get home Saturday.

What do you think would be a proper hostess gift in this situation?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

what the grocery boy can't do for me

My man got my tea!


...And there are other things my darling husband does, but they're illegal in some states and the details might make you jealous. Or nauseous. Or, in my sister's case, blind and unable to provide free babysitting anymore.

Welcome home, babe.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

5 Classes That Should Have Been Taught in School

I was tagged for this meme by the Restless Housewife; I think we might just be able to save the future of mankind by spreading a little heads-up to educators around the world. (I do try everyday to inject a bit of this valuable info into my teenage students. Except #4).
  1. How to Effectively Deal with Mean Girls (Without Incurring a Criminal Record)
  2. Reading Men's Minds
  3. Appropriate Use of Turn Signals, Brakes, and Side Mirrors
  4. Safe & Secret Storage of Sex Toys
  5. Cooking, Cleaning, Dressing & Behaving 1950s Style - and LOVING IT, by God

Much love, thanks, & utter devotion to Anne Taintor's genius for this image

TAG YOU'RE IT to CamiKaos, Katydidnot, and Jenn. And other readers who realllly want to do it, please go crazy and let us know in comments.

Knowledge is power!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

a concerned query

The other night, after my man & I indulged in a particularly [ahem] expressive bit of intimacy, the Boy knocked upon our bedroom door. We said he could come in; he poked his head around the door and said, "Is Mom alright?"

Snicker. "Yes, I'm alright," I answered.

"Oh. I thought she might be passing out again."

More snickering from the grown-ups. "Nope, I'm okay. But thanks for checking on me, bub."

"Okay. So what were you doing anyway?" he asked, sidling up to the bed.

"Making out," I told him. I hadn't quite completed the word out when he actually recoiled and left the room calling, "Ewww. Good night!"
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Other amusing kid stuff at The Bad Mommy Blog