Wednesday, June 17, 2009

zoinks squared

So an invitation from Yelp Portland came [um] in my inbox today for the Air Sex World Championship.

I sincerely believed it was a joke entry on their newsletter but alas, it is not.

I visited the official website and was interested to find 1) it is real and 2) a concerned citizen took precious time & energy to e-mail the group about how wrong their event is. Note I didn't say I was surprised about either of these things; anything one can possibly imagine will eventually be brought to fruition by someone, and there is an unfortunate glut of people willing to rage about situations that in no way affect them.

Let me be clear - I will never, ever, ever enter the Air Sex World Championship nor would I choose to attend (walking through the Sexmuseum in Amsterdam nearly broke my eyebrows with the perpetual raising). But honestly, this type of shall-we-say exercise does nothing to hurt me or my family. I mean, if the venue were midday at Pioneer Square or our local library I'd be annoyed, but damaged? No. My kids & I have witnessed plenty of real live weirdness (not sponsored by a search engine) amongst the citizens of Portland and Seattle; I explain as best I can while we walk away, no harm done.

Thus I am perplexed by the e-mailer's vehement stance against the air sexers (sexists?). I find it sad that he believes his grandmother would have been killed by this contest, or stupidity in general - she could not possibly have gotten to grandmother status without encountering a great deal of stupidity in the world. But I got a grand laugh from this: You got caught jerking off (probably in an embarrassing way), is that how you ‘spawned’ the idea? It begs the question - can one be caught jerking off in a not-embarrassing way? Maybe I'm missing something...

In the end [heh], I'm intrigued by the concept of this event and the boldness of its participants, but not enough to check it out. Anyone out there brave enough, report back. But no pictures. Okay maybe.


Moxy Jane said...

Austin just had its Air Sex World Championship. And I quote: "The first Air Sex Championship season took place exclusively in Austin, with semi-monthly competitions at the Alamo Drafthouse and a finals performance, pitting all the winners of previous rounds against each other, in the historic Paramount Theater as part of the opening night of Fantastic Fest.

Sad Larry, the performer who won the 2008 Air Sex crown that night (along with an all expense paid adult-themed trip to Nevada), won the judges over with a simultaneously heart-wrenching and gut-busting performance depicting a lonely man and an 8X10 glossy of his ex-girlfriend.

To find a new champion for this year, we are taking the Air Sex crew on the road across North America for three weeks, bringing along emcees, judges, and performers that wowed the crowds in Austin last year. In each city, they’ll be inviting local Air Sexers up to the stage at rock club venues, and the winner of each round will be flown to the Air Sex World Championship Finals later this summer." -

Maybe it will be someone from Portland???

Unknown said...

Oh my! I've never heard of such a thing - I lead a very sheltered life, LOL!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Damn you and your common-sense approach to life and child-rearing.

LarryG said...

hmmmm, a new way to build those frequent flier miles, maybe Letterman mistook one of these folks for a stewardess on one of his recent flights! not to excuse his idiocy! lol

brandy101 said...

Ah, I have seen worse in the name of *performance art.*

MUCH worse.

Look up GG Allen (or watch the documentary about his life) and you will know what I am talking about.

This stuff is no worse than most bromance r-rated movies out these days in terms of vulgarity.

Still, not for the kids, for sure!!!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I actually tried commenting on this post last night, but had to wait until I was rested to fully do my comment justice.

There are seriously too many one-of-a-kind one-liners in this post to name. You simply must venture to this event sometime and check it out. Only you could do such a thing justice with your wit!


Shana said...

Well, jeez, thanks a lot for ruining my suggestion for the next night out for the happy hour homegirls.


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