Wednesday, January 23, 2008

what's a little soft porn in the classroom?

Like my good cyberfriend Mrs. G, I have an affinity for calendars. I enjoy being able to know the date whenever and wherever I look around the room; call it control freakish, if you must. Basically, if I'm happy, the class is happy. Or at least not living in fear of my next move. Anyway.

I found a wall calendar for my office with serene pictures of porches; it gives me a sense of peace in the midst of potential chaos. I envision someday walking in, closing my door, and gazing at a weathered rocking chair next to a wicker table set with fresh lemonade and tiny triangular sandwiches. Ahh. There is also a small tent calendar from Pier 1 on my desk that gives off a general air of worldliness like the store itself, with all the teak and silk, and Indian elephant motif. I can almost smell the incense when I sit down in front of it.

Near my computer out in the classroom, I have one of those useless but darling mini calendars with breathtaking (though miniature) photos of faraway places. (I'm sensing a theme). It is part of my "travel corner" - I've hung a couple of shelves (they're actually old speakers I found in a closet) to display souvenirs from Asia along with a tiny plastic globe and my cherished $4.99 Goodwill velvet-matted drawings of London landmarks. Next to my office door is the district-issued giant desk calendar that I've marked up with historical events and famous people's birthdays as well as students' birthdays and school holidays.

Because I had not yet filled every empty table and/or wall space with a date-telling device, I picked up a page-a-day art calendar for half price at Barnes and Noble. I like these because of the fresh daily offerings, plus they provide a piece of scratch paper at the end of each day. I set it next to the bin where my poetry students drop off & pick up their composition books everyday - it's ART, I felt very cool and cosmopolitan and modern exposing them to a different work each afternoon. Well. By the grace of God, I actually took a moment to really look at January 16th's offering before school started. It was this:

But LARGER. It's entitled "Ilona with Ass Up." I held the calendar in my hands, pondering the picture for many minutes. Was it really that bad? Were the kids even looking at the marvelous artwork? Hmmm. I do teach at an alternative school. And I loathe censorship, but in the end (no pun intended, truly) I decided to skip the 16th. Interestingly, one of my students was intently checking out the calendar two days later. I'm just grateful they didn't put in this Jeff Koons piece (BEWARE: GRAPHIC LINK). Wait. I'd better check the rest of the year...

9 comments:

Art lover not a hater said...

I was trying to convince Stephanie that this picture would look great above our headboard. Nothing screams class like soft core porn/art in the master bedroom. "Oh, that picture? We saw in on a calendar and just had to have it. Would you like to see our adult toy collection too?"

-Stu

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I think you made the right decision.

Melanie said...

I just laughed and laughed, my friend. I think the title of that piece is the best part.

That Jeff Koons is a loon, truly. If you look at a collection of his work, it's like half soft-porn pictorials, half ceramic poodle figurines. No humping poodles. No "Poodle With Ass Up." Just poodles.

I'm deeply suspicious of him.

Mrs. G. said...

I haven't laughed the much today so thank you for that. Could you stick this in an envelope and pop it in the mail to me? I would just like to carry it around in my pocket for thrills. I wish I could come hang out in your office.

Lisa Milton said...

Oh Barnes and Noble, we never knew thee.

I'm with Melanie; the title is too much.

Anonymous said...

David wanted me to ask you for your calendar page. He mumbled something about the light, form and art appreciation.

Jen B :)

brandy101 said...

Ick; even as porn, its utterly tacky! Whoever was the stylist on that set must have been previously employed at Fredrick's Of Hollywood (because Victoria's Secret didn't like his/her portfolio!)

katydidnot said...

one way to get their attention.

Linda said...

"Ilona With Ass Up" As if they worded the title that way it would seem more Art-like.

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