Thursday, April 24, 2008

mock my pain

The Good: Grocery Store Hottie has not moved out of the area or been fired. I carefully arranged my non-essential shopping to land in his line tonight, and I even asked a question cleverly designed to provide prolonged interaction.

The Bad: Apparently he is onto my stalking ruse and is either clueless or uninterested (let's just say the former, to preserve my rapidly-diminishing dignity) because, although he responded to my initial query of "Do you know how much the Gerber daisies are?" with a cute little "Huh! No, I didn't even know we had daisies," he proceeded to not actually find an answer for me. When he had scanned all of my seven non-essential items and told me the total, I asked again in a lighthearted jokey voice (as opposed to an irritated bitchy voice, which was roiling just below the surface; it has been 8 days since my last sighting, people!). He unceremoniously said I should ask someone in the produce section.

The Ugly: There was no one in the produce section, and like a crazy lady who desperately needed those potted daisies I wandered around, waiting for someone to appear. Then I went home and discovered I had not purchased bread to go with the round of Brie [that I didn't need]. Frick. So I went back to the store but pointedly did not get in Hottie's line. Then I asked a homely but very friendly & helpful worker (who was NOT in Produce, by the way) about the daisies; he grabbed a pot and happily scanned it for me. I was seconds away from plunking it down in front of Grocery Boy and telling him SOMEONE ELSE checked the price for me, as though this would make him very jealous and remorseful. But I came to my senses and just bought the bread.

In the end, I'm thankful no one called me "Ma'am."

11 comments:

Cheri said...

Good move going to a different line. Way to play hard to get. Works every time. Next trip to the market for unnecessary items, he'll be offering to carry your groceries out to the car.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I think Cheri is on to something!

Lisa Milton said...

I was there for the big 'we are Whole Check now' party Saturday, and I couldn't spot him.

(I needed to see if he was worthy of your affection. For your sake.)

He is visible to mere could-be stalkers, right?

Karen said...

That'll show him!

Janet said...

oh, dude, you have it BAD!

stu said...

Hey, I'm sitting right here.

love you, you goofball.

-Stu

JCK said...

I'm with Cheri, playing hard to get gets 'em running to you all the time...

brandy101 said...

sounds like you might need a new crush...try a starbuck's and see if a cute barista-dude(baristo?) remembers your order after a few visits!!

sissy said...

you really told him! or didn't tell him, or something like that.
sissy

katydidnot said...

i really love that you have blog labels for both delusions and stalking. really, it's very endearing.

Gunffighter said...

Pssst.

Being called ma'am is a good thing... innit?

Hi... my first time here... blame Stu.

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