Thursday, May 15, 2008

grocery store smackdown imminent

I realize posting this on my wedding anniversary may seem a tad tacky, but it is what it is. (In other words, tacky).

To begin with, I have not taken my own advice and gone through other not hot checkers' aisles at my grocery store. I'm giving my [not so] secret crush one hundred a few more chances. So, this evening I ran in for some very important food items and as we were having an intimate moment finishing our depressingly chaste checker/customer exchange, this happened behind me:

Woman my age [not old] talking to her preschool daughter in the cart: Okay, honey, put the things on the counter. Why are you being so shy? Did you say "Because he's so handsome?" Heehee.

Oh yes she did.

So I flashed him.


Alright, I did not. I also did not raise my eyebrow menacingly at her (I'm pretty sure). Though I surely emanated wrath in her general direction.

But I did quickly deposit our groceries in the car before running back into the store to grab the Willamette Week, to show what an edgy suburban mom I am. An edgy suburban mom willing to take down her competition. Bring it, girlfriend.

8 comments:

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm looking for this smackdown to end up as a Lifetime movie!

stu said...

"'Smackdown at Whole Foods and The Checker That Did Not Notice' will continue after this commercial break here on Lifetime channel"

Lisa Milton said...

You're an edgy suburban good mom, supporting the kids at Pride night when I know there are other menfolk used rather be chatting up.

Stu included.

Happy, happy to you two.

brandy101 said...

Hilarious!

Did you ever watch Sex & The City? There was an episode where one of the characters goes to a health food restaurant because of a hot waiter...and she soon realizes that ALL of the patrons there are checking him out, too.

You know, if he's young, he might have a facebook or myspace page...so you could add cyberstalking into the mix...

scargosun said...

Can you imagine the humiliation that child is going to feel the rest of her life if her mom continues to use her daughter to flirt with guys!? :)
You totally did the right thing. Flashing him the goods distracted him AND gave him a preview.

~michelle said...

Brandy101- oh no you didn't!! cyberstalking is not something Stephanie needs to add to her insanity.... not to mention a lot of folk have tracking on their pages and would KNOW- don't do it sis! Stop the insanity!!!
love you & looking out for you- since stalking is a crime... i know! ;-p

Cheri said...

You are not following the advice of Blog This Mom! in which she told you to play hard to get. Go to another line. Look distractedly past him. If you are in his line, yawn as though bored or tired from hot sex all night. Ask a different hottie (or, in a pinch, any other male employee) to carry your bags out for you. And all the while, wear those pants that Stu said make your butt look nice.

sissy said...

LOL...that's it. I'm coming to Salem to visit my brother in law and I damn well have to see this checker!!

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