This is my new car air freshener (it's Tart Citrus, a delicious aromatic cross between Juicy Fruit gum and orange-scented cleaning products; I LOVE IT! You can buy one here). I bought it on a lark - we don't really think I'm a whiner, bitcher, or moaner, right? Huh. Somehow its snarky attitude has infected me. Or I actually am a whiny bitching moaner. Regardless.
In this past week, I have been irrationally aggravated by:
- PTA moms attending classes dressed like they'd been cleaning toilets [Not that I'm a fashionista or anything, but come on]
- An adult woman with a six-inch tattoo on her leg of Winnie-the-Pooh holding a balloon [Tattoos seem like they should at least whisper "I'm edgy, with a dark side that might shock you"]
- Early "last call" at the hotel bar [Especially when Derek #1 wouldn't hang around and let me adore him. In a completely innocent and non-stalker way, of course]
- Subway worker's tone when she informed me the weekly special was posted "on the signs all over the store" [Can we just pretend I'm too busy to look around & you can be polite when offering me a deal?]
- Radio stations gabbing more than playing songs [Would calling in to request them to SHUT THE HELL UP be persuasive?]
- Forgetting my classroom keys in a different purse [I know; why have different purses anyway? It's a sickness]
- My "regular" parking space being occupied by someone else TWICE [I actually got one closer to the building but was still miffed that it wasn't my usual spot. There is something wrong with me]
- No waffles or granola bars on sale [Perhaps I should lodge a complaint with my favorite checker. Who will promptly do nothing but stand there looking hot. I'll try it tomorrow]
I know, it's a hard-knock life for me. At least it will keep me young.