Thursday, November 6, 2008

hard eight

The girl & I have had something of a week.

Sunday my daughter spent six hours at a friend's house after church - a super fun thing until bedtime when all the wacky good times came grinding to a halt and I DON'T WANT TO HAVE DINNER/TAKE A SHOWER/GO TO BED/GET UP FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW/WEAR A JACKET.

Monday there was evening sadness when P was upset about something 8-year-old-important and her brother made a mournful sad trombone sound on his actual trombone; she further lost her mind, he kept poking, and everyone lost out on reading Harry Potter together for the night.

Yesterday as I was heading to have tea with my best friend, P complained that no one will play with her at recess. Now, my girl is not a dancing social butterfly but I've never known her to be rejected by anyone; even the boys across the street will ask her to join them in their hijinx, and not because she's the last resort. I asked why she thought no one wanted to play with her and she explained that others had chosen activities she didn't really want to be a part of; I asked what she did during recess then and got this: "Welllll, actually so-and-so did this with me...I guess it was...okay..." And because that didn't seem to be enough of a tearjerker for me, she added "But then no one [names kindergarten friend group] would let me do anything." Huh. They're all in charge? Did you tell them what you wanted to do? "They just kept talking and didn't listen to me." That is a drag; what did you end up doing? "I don't know. It was fine...Anyway, see you later." She squealed and bolted off as some friends came up the sidewalk.

Today, I asked how recess went. Big sigh; "It was okay, I guess." Did you play with C [a new friend in her class]? "No, she always stays in during recess." How about H [a friend from our neighborhood whom she's known since birth]? "No, she always plays soccer." S [a very close friend since 1st grade]? "No, she says she HAS TO play with Kevin all the time." Why does she think she HAS TO play with Kevin? "Because he's HER BOYFRIEND." Um. [THEY ARE EIGHT] Tell her your dad is MY HUSBAND and I don't play with him all the time. *snicker* What about O [another old friend in the neighborhood]? SIGH. "She always says we have to do whatever she wants to do. It gets really annoying." Understandable. Hmmm. We sit quietly for a minute. "HEY, can we go to the Book Fair?" Life is beautiful.

Fast forward three hours. We had a bunch of errands to run, homework to finish, dinner to eat, and a suitcase to pack for her weekend Girl Scout camping adventure (Book Fair was tentatively a plan if we could get everything done before it closed at 8:00, and there was no mention of it after 5 p.m.). At 7:35 I invited her to come with me to drop off her camping stuff with the troop leader and return some videos. Big fun, off we go. On the way to Blockbuster, she asked if we could rent a kid movie; I answered not today since she will be gone for two days and wouldn't be able to watch it [before we got charged $578 in late fees]. Mild sadness. Then, as we left the parking lot at 7:45, "So are we going to the Book Fair now?" Uhhhhhhh. Technically, we probably could have gotten there with a few minutes for shopping, which is likely what sent her into a galactic crying fit that lasted until, well, probably tomorrow morning.

I love this girl to pieces, I'm just wondering - if things are this nutty now, do I get a pass when she's 13?


Karen said...

Dear gracious I wish I knew when it got better. Mine is 9 1/2 and we've been going through the same thing since she was about 8.
My mom swears that I was like that young too and that by 13 when all the other kids were just getting really moody I snapped out of it. Oh how I hope that will happen for us!
Otherwise I'll be hitting the bottle hard soon, seeing as I have another girl.

Danielle said...

Hmmm so this is what i have to look forward to in 4 years? Mind is already extremely high drama I was kind of hoping it was going to get better...

Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. said...

I hope it gets better for you. I'm kind of in a similar boat as Danielle. We have a 5 yr old who is very high drama as well. I was hoping she would mellow out as she got a little older but, from what I am gathering from everyone else's experiences, that won't be happening anytime soon. :o/

Shana said...

My youngest turns 10 in December and we are RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. Tears over recess, tears over wearing a jacket, oh, and she has apparently forgotten how to tie her own shoes.

My "big girls" are 15 and 21 and I am here to tell you with confidence this phase passes. The bad news: the teen phase ain't so great either.

My boy is 20. Not to be a sexist, but, damn, he's so much easier than the girls, and has been since day one.

Anonymous said...

Muirne just turned 6. Now I am scared. I should be scared, right?

Mrs. G. said...

It's hard out there for a girl. xxxxooxxoo

262mom said...

I have an eight too! Last night we thought we were going to fail 3rd grade because she got a zero for a lost assignment.

The things that concern them and the things that don't - it's crazy!

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I am no help at all. We had tearsapalooza last night over math, and she even gets it just fine, so I don't understand.

(Thankfully, she acted nutty for Greg while he is home. Is it wrong that I want a witness? He is so much better at dealing with it...)

I'm with Mrs. G - it's hard being a girl sometimes.

Please take care.

Anonymous said...

Can I just say this post made me feel a heckofa lot better!

The drama llama followed my daughter home sometime since school started in September. All I have heard from my 8 year old daughter is how 3rd grade sucks, being 8 sucks. Her meltdowns this week, have really tested my mental state. (What's left of it anyway) I'm so glad that I am not alone in this mess.

If 8 is this bad?! I am SO putting her up for adoption come the teenage years! :)

Great blog.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Hahahahahaha. A break? Hahahahahha. Ummm, no. You get more of the same only louder and longer and with more players. Sorry.

Ms. Wink's World o'School said... very scary to read this as V. is 7 and E. is 5

brandy101 said...

omg, my 8-almost-nine year old is going through this drama cr*p these days, too.

I think all the hormones in our foods are causing these kids to jettison into early puberty!!! ;)

katydidnot said...

oh, wow. that sounded pretty awful. truly excrutiating.

Very Mary said...

I have a Very Easy child, and I often wonder what I did to deserve such ease. Here's what I deduce: I've been given a pass until C turns 30. Then, after a nasty divorce, she'll move home with all four of her kids, her dogs, and a stinky old parakeet.

AngelConradie said...

oy... exhausting!

Moxy Jane said...

Hang in there!! Our nine year old had a helluva ride her first three months into being nine...but a haircut and a complete wardrobe do-over and a name change seem to have worked miracles.

My just turned 7 year old, however, was born with a tiara on her head and bull-whip in her fist. It is high drama all the time.

As a homeschooled family, I often think that I should have less drama in my home (no playground bullies - or boyfriends, no homework, no grades) but damn if these kids haven't found totally other things to freak out about (clothes, food, hygiene, safety, Un-Constitutional treatment of children, WHATEVER)! It's just going to happen.

It helps me to recall my own self at these various ages. I was pretty miserable from about 3rd grade until 9th. How's that for encouragement?!


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