Tuesday, December 2, 2008

mental fatigue

No full moon, no hormonal imbalance, no stressful deadlines looming, not even a significant change in the weather - yet the last two days I've been scattered.

Our neighbor's usually well-behaved dog bolted into my house yesterday as I was leaving for school. He raced through the entire downstairs, sniffing and dodging, until Rocky greeted him with raised hackles and a demonic growl.

This morning was spent with mourners; I didn't get into the shower until 30 minutes before I needed to be at work; I twittered around between my closet and the laundry room, deliberating over tights and shirts and shoes. Once I got to school, I boiled some water for tea and started it steeping, then proceeded to leave it in my office untouched for 6 [SIX] hours. And it didn't occur to me until 2:04 p.m. that I haven't shaved my armpits in a few days yet wore a short-sleeved sweater today.

Yesterday, I discovered a handful of my smoked almonds in various places on my classroom floor - first I was irritated because I like to eat them but not off the floor, and secondly because when the hell were people throwing my almonds around? Today I couldn't find a paper copy of the story I wanted for Creative Writing so had to search around for the book to read from; the bulb in my celebrated document camera burned out and suddenly I needed to show a dozen different documents; I nearly tripped over my beloved space heater three times and a crate of composition books twice.

There was goodness: I made amends with a student who left my class acrimoniously Monday; the young Anakin participated in a startlingly revealing fashion during discussions about Holden's mental state; a number of kids (admittedly under a bit of good-natured duress) selected poems to memorize for our Poetry Out Loud competition; 99% of the Creative Writing class listened intently to the story I read - and they generated a smart discussion afterward; our staff decided to have the gingerbread competition again.

After school I attended a 3-hour workshop which was helpful, my friend Vickie was there with me, and they provided some decent snacks, but it was still threeeee hours - while my best-husband-ever was home with the kids making dinner, driving to Scouts, and shopping at Costco. In my tired, inefficient stupor, I came home only to grab videos, drive to Blockbuster, realize I forgot one of the four we'd rented, decide whether to run home and get it (no), pick up a Sopranos and Chapter 27, drive down to Whole Foods for brie & a baguette, consider the merits of sourdough vs. whole wheat, consider the difference between four different kinds of brie-like cheeses.

Nothing I have done in the past two days is remotely heroic [or interesting]. But I am ready for Friday.