Saturday, April 26, 2008

putting the sin in the city

First, pay $25 for the buffet at Bellagio, a much lovelier and inviting hotel than yours (we begin with the sin of Envy). You are lulled in by the canopy of blown glass pieces, beautiful parasols, flowers & butterflies (and giant snails?); thus we have Lust.




Once you have eaten yourself stupid (Gluttony), go back for a few 'carry-out' items. Because you will be hungry later and in Vegas - as in economics - there is no such thing as a free lunch (or breakfast, or dinner), and because you just forked out $25 for a mere series of tasty snacks, grab some fruit, cookies, and portable pastries (Greed). You may have a reluctant party who believes that stealing is wrong and you all are wicked criminals (Pride). Pat him gently on the shoulder then surreptitiously slip the pilfered food into a concealed backpack.




Later, back in your room, you will moan with intestinal agony while slouching in front of truTV (Sloth). Someone will helpfully remind you that you chose to eat just one more bite of chicken artichoke pasta plus the cheesecake, then an espresso chip cookie. And along comes Wrath.

9 comments:

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I can just picture it.

sissy said...

Vivid...I luv it!!
Sissy

Lisa Milton said...

Dave looks mighty uncomfortable. Scandalized even.

I'm glad I hang out with a bunch of scoundrels.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

We stayed at the Bellagio just after it opened. I LOVED it. Only complaint was that there was no coffee maker in the room. I NEED coffee immediately upon waking up. Especially when alcohol was involved the previous evening.

Cheri said...

You jacked fruit? It that fruit I see going into a backpack? Fruit??? When you could have jacked pastries?

I AM VERY MARY said...

I love me a good wrathful, gluttonous pilferer.

Manager Mom said...

If you're looking for the cheapest breakfast buffet in Vegas I recommend Excalibur's Buffet In The Round. $9.95 for some really greasy food, but an abundance of bananas, granola bars, and other things to pilfer and carry about during the day.

They also have an excellent medieval shop where you can buy overpriced gender-cliched items such as princess clothing for girls and knight gear for boys.

Excellent for the post-trip bribes to make you kids stop hating you for leaving them with Grandma...

Mrs. G. said...

I have no ethical issues with buffet theft. You clearly run with a rough crowd.

katydidnot said...

espresso chip...wait...wha?? i can't think now.

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