Sunday, August 31, 2008

labor pains

Disclaimer: None of what I am saying is a bid for compliments or comments to the contrary. I sincerely believe what I tell you, and I am pretty much at peace with it.

I am a lazy individual. I shun exercise unless it's disguised as fun and/or productive - strolling through Disneyland, walking around a neighborhood full of garage sales, moving furniture; I truly do not want to ever mow a lawn again (I think the last time I did it I had a Walkman, a Go-Go's cassette, very moussed hair and a sullen expression) and I rarely pull weeds or plant things; I must psyche myself into a housecleaning mood, which can take many days; and if I have made one move toward getting ready for bed (put on slippers, taken off watch), it is nearly impossible for me to do anything that feels like work, e.g. get my own tea or put in a Sopranos DVD.

Today I stood by while essentially every member of my church helped packed the place up (we meet in a middle school for now). I hoped to give off the "I'm waiting for my children" vibe but of course that begs the question, why the hell not offer a hand while you wait? For your 8- and 9-year old children who are gleefully taking apart the stage and rolling carts of chairs away. Why not though? Because I AM LAZY. Speaking of church, I also regularly avoid functions such as laser tag parties and cleaning the local lake; sounds like too much work. Here is what I can do for people: teach middle & high schoolers about God & Jesus; mobilize middle & high schoolers for action [I always admit that I, personally, am not Action Girl but they will probably be really good at doing whatever I'm asking]; give a portion of my paycheck to support the church staff and a building; bring food/gifts to anyone in need; hold babies or comfort toddlers in the nursery.

Frankly, I really don't deserve a Labor Day holiday; I should actually spend tomorrow mowing somebody's lawn. I think I've got some Go-Go's on my iPod.

Here's to the workers out there. Thanks & enjoy a day off!


Anonymous said...

You can mow our lawn. I'll get your Ipod...


Mrs. G. said...

"and if I have made one move toward getting ready for bed (put on slippers, taken off watch), it is nearly impossible for me to do anything that feels like work, e.g. get my own tea or put in a Sopranos DVD."

I thought I was the only one. I will admit that I have called my kids (who are downstairs) to hand me the remote which is on the dresser ten steps from the bed.

shrink on the couch said...

I feel no guilt about expecting minor and major acts of servitude from my kids. goddess knows, after years of diapers and baths and toddler tantrums, we parents deserve a break.

Regarding the GoGo's, I loved the Vacation album. Many romantic memories : )

Shana said...

I am lazy and, even worse, unapologetic and uncaring about being lazy. My husband will be working on a project and say, "This would sure go faster if you lend a hand," and I can look him right in the eye and so, "No thanks, not interested," with no guilt whatsoever.

As far as my kids go, I am likely to going apeshit if they exhibit the least amount of laziness. My expectation is that they will be uber-industrious to compensate for my laziness, thus maintaining balance in the world.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I have that lazy streak myself--life was much harder before cell phones--now I can call downstairs for someone to bring me the paper when I wake up in the morning!

Manager Mom said...

Um. How do you clean a lake, exactly?

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

The Go-Gos didn't believe in cleaning lakes either.

(I think I'd rather pick up litter than waterski again. Terrifying.)

Now, back to bed with you, with some tea. You'll be busy enough, soon enough.

LarryG said...

interesting i never thought of "lazy" as a spiritual gift before, yet obviously some folks are learning the lesson being taught by your gift! God is soooo cool!


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