Tuesday, September 2, 2008

welcome back

Homework on the first day of school:
  1. If you are a new teacher using the classroom of a teacher who doesn't have a first period class, how many times will you be asked before & during 1st period "Where is Mrs. S??!" before you lose your mind (and feel totally unwelcome)?
  2. Multiply the number of students in any given class by 47 to compute the total of attempts made to sit in the new teacher's comfy chair, situated behind his desk in a corner of the room.
  3. Using the number of attempts to sit in the comfy chair plus what you know about Mrs. S's OCD nature, decode the following message: G_T _HE F_ _ K _U_! (I did not actually say all of those words. Out loud).
  4. Find the difference in degrees Fahrenheit between the school's foyer, my classroom, the computer lab, and the teacher's lounge.
  5. Illustrate the bewildered expression on students' faces when told their teacher got a tattoo during the summer.
  6. Compare & contrast: What students think their teacher did in Amsterdam & what their teacher actually did. (This picture notwithstanding).
  7. Determine the probability of having the Technology students' computer passwords by the 2nd day of school. Chart the likelihood at 3, 4, and 5 days into the school year.
  8. Develop a curriculum for the Technology class that does not involve computers.
  9. Create a graph measuring how many hours of sleep per individual were obtained against the number of minutes it took for returning students to discover the 12 foot x 4 foot chalkboard on the classroom's front wall was replaced by a whiteboard. (YAY, thank you, Ms. H & maintenance dudes!)
  10. Respond: Who do I scr*w to get the document camera & projectors where I need them tomorrow? (I got my principal in a little trouble with that question last year but this time I really am scheduled to get these things, it's just a matter of when. I'm prepared to speed up the process).

10 comments:

Stu said...

Oooo, oooo, call on me Mrs. S! I figured out #3.

-Stu

i am very mary said...

I am so frickin bad at math.

Lisa Milton said...

I think I need to borrow a dog to eat my homework. I'm just not ready.

Best to you and your kiddos tomorrow. Hope they get off to a good start too.

(I'm up to meeting at the park tomorrow, if you are. If not, pick another day, ok?)

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

School starts tomorrow around these parts. Oy.

Hope yours are off to a great start!

katydidnot said...

1. 17
2. 940 (ish)
3. stu already got this one, suck up
4. 62, but it should be a good reason to buy a new cardigan from anthropologie
5. see, i still kind of think it was henna, so...
6. no difference in what they think she did and what she did, b/c she is a baaaad mom
7. 78% unlikely, 44% outlook hazy, 32% ask again later
8. watch sneakers, hackers,and read my Tech Support posts
9. and then my head exploded
10. i bet stu will take the project on based on the reward

Suzanne said...

Welcome back, Teach! You can count on me to do only a little bit of my assignment, and then actually turn in none of it.

Yay high school!!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

My mom said I don't have to do homework on the first day of school!

Shana said...

Put a whoopie cushion in the comfy chair to keep them out! No, wait, they'd like that.

holly said...

number 8? pencil is a technology?

phd in yogurtry said...

"Illustrate the bewildered expression on students' faces when told their teacher got a tattoo during the summer."

You're going to post a few of these, right?

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