Tuesday, September 2, 2008

welcome back

Homework on the first day of school:
  1. If you are a new teacher using the classroom of a teacher who doesn't have a first period class, how many times will you be asked before & during 1st period "Where is Mrs. S??!" before you lose your mind (and feel totally unwelcome)?
  2. Multiply the number of students in any given class by 47 to compute the total of attempts made to sit in the new teacher's comfy chair, situated behind his desk in a corner of the room.
  3. Using the number of attempts to sit in the comfy chair plus what you know about Mrs. S's OCD nature, decode the following message: G_T _HE F_ _ K _U_! (I did not actually say all of those words. Out loud).
  4. Find the difference in degrees Fahrenheit between the school's foyer, my classroom, the computer lab, and the teacher's lounge.
  5. Illustrate the bewildered expression on students' faces when told their teacher got a tattoo during the summer.
  6. Compare & contrast: What students think their teacher did in Amsterdam & what their teacher actually did. (This picture notwithstanding).
  7. Determine the probability of having the Technology students' computer passwords by the 2nd day of school. Chart the likelihood at 3, 4, and 5 days into the school year.
  8. Develop a curriculum for the Technology class that does not involve computers.
  9. Create a graph measuring how many hours of sleep per individual were obtained against the number of minutes it took for returning students to discover the 12 foot x 4 foot chalkboard on the classroom's front wall was replaced by a whiteboard. (YAY, thank you, Ms. H & maintenance dudes!)
  10. Respond: Who do I scr*w to get the document camera & projectors where I need them tomorrow? (I got my principal in a little trouble with that question last year but this time I really am scheduled to get these things, it's just a matter of when. I'm prepared to speed up the process).