Saturday, April 18, 2009

pardon the facade

My astute, smartypants friend Holly discovered yesterday that I AM FAMOUS. In some superduper liberal circles, anyway - I was linked in an article about "Naughty Mommies," which I cruelly hope leads to some very disappointing Google searches for certain individuals...Digression. Or not. The article [because I know you're too busy (or conservative, hello best friend Jen) to read it] essentially ponders if we mom bloggers who claim to be "bad" are actually a) fishing for compliments about how good we really are or b) seeking validation for our previously socially unacceptable desire to have free time and/or cocktails. To which I say to both presumptions, borrowing from my most intellectual students, duh.

Who doesn't like a compliment and a little validation? Especially after completing something difficult & mind-numbing, as many daily chores of motherhood and housewifery can be. Even when I've done things that enrich me or soothe my soul (reading with the kids, teaching, finishing laundry [I'm serious!]), it's nice to hear that I'm noticed and appreciated. And it's extra nice to indulge in some uninterrupted eating, drinking & being merry of the grown-up sort.

But honestly, as many of you know (and if you don't yet, please do read this so you can be certain I'm not truly [only] a pitiful attention-seeker), I started this blog because writing gives me joy and relieves some pressure in my brain; I continue this blog because writing it still does those things for me with the added bonus of connecting me to phenomenal women [and a few men, hi LarryG!] around the world. I am not interested in judging others' choices in marriage, parenting, or politics - remarking on and attempting to understand, sure but judging, no. I realize not getting involved in conflama [conflict + drama, the drug of choice for many lonely individuals] keeps me from getting copious amounts of traffic, but I'm cool with that. Fame is probably overrated.

Unless it gets me a lunch date with Mark Wahlberg.

Somebody leave an inflammatory comment...


Fantastic Forrest said...

Thanks for the linky love, babe. And good luck with that Wahlberg lunch thing.

I think the article made some thought-provoking comments. While you are an extremely intelligent, loving mom who is prone to tongue-in-cheek commentaries, there are some bad mommies who are not so fun.

The freedom of confessing ones' wild desires to be more than simply "The Mom" (GASP!) and having others share their own similar guilty secret is part of the joy of blogging. At least it is for you and me and many other mom friends.

But freedom isn't free. Sometimes we are criticized.

One of the most interesting things the article said was about how there is a class divide in bloggyland. It will be interesting to see if that is true in a few more years.

Moxy Jane said...

It's very interesting to see the progression of motherhood and how it's portrayed both by mothers and by those who judge mothers. Certainly the blog world is full of both...but I wonder just how many bad mamas are completely fictitious and simply good mamas living out their fantasies;-)

Also, while you have a picture of a coffee cup and a beer, the beer is in the BACKGROUND. I've always thought that photo to be the perfect balance.

The Girl Next Door said...

I somehow think the author did not read your post on why you call yourself "bad mom." There's a quite popular blog "The meanest mom" and it's about NOT catering to our children but being the Parent. Amen.

I'm with Moxy - I think a lot of the "bad mom" stories out there are fictional. Or at least I hope so.

Truthfully, I didn't find the article very enlightening or entertaining or thought-provoking. Just long-winded. Except for the part about making you famous. that was cool.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...


You were all quoted in an article and shit.

No longer are you bad mom, now you're a badass.


Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

Yay you! I happen to know you are an amazing mom AND woman.

The whole enchilada. A real person.

(I'm with you: who doesn't want validation? Notice we don't slobber all over the good/bad dads stuff for wanting a night off or a stiff drink. Oy!)

I'm thrilled to see you linked...

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I hope you remember the little people that knew you way back when.

Shana said...

So now that you're famous, and I know you, and so now I'm kind of a fake-seeking hanger-on, right?


AngelConradie said...

I only blog for the attention I get through it. I have no life outside of my blogs. I cannot get through the day without my comments.

And I didn't read the article.


katydidnot said...

compliments? yes, please.
cocktails? yes, please.

Miss Healthypants said...

I loved reading about why your blog is called "Bad Mom"--that's a great (and humbling!) story. :)

Janet said...

What, Moms aren't allowed to drink? I don't think she even read your blog, just c'mon. Sheesh!

lisahgolden said...

I'm trying to think of an inflammatory comment, but I'm either too drunk from neglecting my kids or that beer I just drank to come up with anything.

Seriously, though, I like your tactic of writing to relieve the brain pressure and to seek validation. Validation is good! I mean that.

And good for you for shying away from the drama and confrontation. Who needs that? Although my own mother would be horrified to read my blog at times, she'd be pleased to know that I do adhere to the "if you can't say anything nice" rule when I leave comments.


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