Saturday, August 1, 2009

seeking an outlet

Some people think beach = fun in the sand with family; Bad Mom is not some people [though I did spend an hour watching my kids play this morning, and I even put my bare feet in the sand for a minute]. My best friend & I found it necessary to do a little shopping at the local outlet mall after all that parenting.

I'm going to give away the ending here and reveal I did not spend a gross amount of money on fabulous items; in fact, I found it quite lacking in spectacular deals. Jen & I left, continuing a joke started last night when we spotted a "liquor outlet" - does that mean slightly off alcohol? Stu suggested we would find brands like "Smirinouff" and "Bacarmi." Jen decided that the Christian Outlet is where you get The Bible as Word of Gob; I said it was a store full of irreverent believers who think Jesus prefers certain sports teams, and is happy when we're at happy hour. Book Warehouse? Watch for missing chapters and/or upside down pages. And of course the Hollister outlet employs only average-looking boys & girls instead of the shockingly perfect droids the mall hires.

Whew, I am ready for a drink. Maybe a Cosmopolitan? Though it would only be a Bourgeois if purchased at the Liquor Outlet.

11 comments:

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Your wit kicks mine in the ass.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Well at least we get our men in classy places like reality TV shoes and Wild Oats Market.

Lisa said...

There's nothing bargain about how funny this was. I think I'm going to go drink the rest of my Boone's Barn wine spritzer now.

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I take it there were no trips back to Portland? This pleases me endlessly on your behalf.

Love,
The One that loves to be on the beach, when at the beach. I think I am doing it wrong.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I should have put the little smiley after my comment. So you'd know I was SERIOUS. Because really? What could be better than Adam Lambert, JT, and grocery boy. Also? I developed a bit of a crush last week on the cashier at the Old Navy near Kate's house. He looked like a young Darius Rucker with diamond studs in his ears and a smile that made it hard for me to stop staring.

Your post? Rocked!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

P.S. Do you want to come to San Diego to go shopping for jeans or T-shirts or ANYTHING with me and Kate? Old Navy is having a sale.

katydidnot said...

i like cheri's idea of you coming to san diego. sans the shopping bit, because shopping? bleh. although...you could leave me in macy's shoe department for like, 17 hours and i'd be fine.

katydidnot said...

also? i totally think we should all get together and drink some Bourgeois while wearing our ecru trash tank tops.

(i couldn't leave this in my first comment because i had to go back and copy and past the word Bourgeois for spelling reasons).

phd in yogurtry said...

I'll have an Absoslut on the rocks, please.

brandy101 said...

I love the beach but not EVERY beach. So far this summer, the beaches up in Wisconsin have not rocked my world. I will see how I do on the beaches of New Jersey next week; usually I love boogie-boarding like a maniac while I am there!

At least in my case, if things get boring I can cut over to a casino in AC for the day...

Danielle said...

We always laughed at the Bible Outlet and we always say "Jesus Saves and so can you at the Discount Bible Outlet". I hope that doesn't mean I'm going to hell?

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