Saturday, October 4, 2008

My wife can't post and drive at the same time, pffft...What's with that?

AKA Stu's guest post #3.

That's right beloved reader, this is not Stephanie, but rather her home maintenance and bedroom satisfaction guy. I had to put that last part in since I was given strict instructions to "don't post anything naughty" (oops, blew that rule).

Anyway, the little lady was off this weekend being all PTAish and stuff while I pine away at home (don't cry for me Argentina). I took this opportunity to put in a new toilet and faucet in our downstairs bathroom. While buying the toilet and faucet, our son (who has a hard time with change) questioned me incessantly about why we need a new toilet. Regular reasoning did no good.

Boy: Dad why do we need a new toilet? I like our toilet.

Me: Because that toilet is always plugging.

Boy: It works fine for me...most of the time...

Me: Exactly. "Mostly" is not how I like my toilets to work.

Boy: Why is this one better?

Me: Well in our toilet the poop moves very slow. If I am poop (snicker) and move very slow toward you (I am now slowly moving toward him) how hard is it to stop me? (I am now sort of gently bumping and swirling around him)

Boy (now giggling as Poop Dad is bumping him): easy

Me: Now, if I am the same poop and I am running at you, can you stop me? (I am now running right at him)


Me: This is why we need a new toilet.

Boy: Right.

Poop talk always works with boys

Sorry to not have a very long post, but both of the kids are sleeping at friend's houses, Stephanie is almost home, and I need to get ready for some of that 'home maintenance' I was not supposed to mention...