Sunday, April 26, 2009

days like these

Without benefit of a therapist, I am at the mercy of my own very flawed self-awareness each day. This means at any given moment, I can be bemusedly accepting of my OCDness or painfully distressed by my need to have all things Just Right, or frightfully surprised by a wild turn of mood, for good or wicked.

Bringing myself into balance means I have to reboot: I must find an entire day when I can start AND finish cleaning, straightening, & organizing everything that catches my eye and disturbs my sense of order. This can be unnerving at best - friends & family aren't quite sure what they can offer to help with, let alone touch or remark about; I am prone to growling and barking in the midst of this process.

I am trying to be less deranged about these obstinate needs of mine and have found that constant list-making helps, as well as the kindness of strangers [and familiars] plus deliberate attention to What Really Matters. I've designed a little photo essay detailing my progress so far (meaning, as of today, Day 3).

The List, made the night before and stationed in my bathroom so attention is directed early

Loving recognition from a truly lovely gentleman
[I will follow the rules soon, Larry, promise!]

My girl, ready for the Culture Parade

My boy, ready for Camporee

My man's offering to me ~ a chocolate cup filled with chocolate mousse, topped with cappuccino whipped cream and chocolate dust

The view out my window this morning