Saturday, January 2, 2010

my right foot

It is a strange thing to feel like a part of your body is a distinct entity. Since I visited the podiatrist in November and scheduled the bunionectomy, my right foot seems to have developed a personality. It didn't hurt at all for a week or so after the initial appointment, no matter which shoes I chose to wear, like it was trying to show me how good it could be. Hey, wait a minute! I was just messing around! Being wacky! You don't need to CUT OFF A PIECE OF YOUR BODY! Are you CRAZY??

Then, when I didn't cancel surgery, it became outrageously hostile. The bunion would ache first thing in the morning - after I had been resting my feet for at least 8 hours. It would begin to hurt so much that I had to take off even my most forgiving shoes during lunch in my classroom. By the time I got home and desperately put on slippers, the thing was throbbing.

Two weeks ago, the night before B-Day, it was eerily calm, like a resigned Death Row inmate. Checking in at the hospital, I began to ridiculously think they might send me home since I was no longer in pain; I sensed the bunion smirking at my growing madness. I wanted to poke it, squeeze it, make it scream one last time.

But then a prep nurse came to mark & wash my leg for surgery. She was thorough and loving (in a not-weird way), and it was not only relaxing but reminded me that my right foot was still a part of me, my whole; not my enemy. I started to feel sad for the foot that was losing a part of itself - maybe it resented me for making this rash decision, maybe we didn't have to have such an adversarial relationship. Maybe the morphine drip in my IV was a little strong.

When I came to a couple of hours later, I was of course looptastic (I asked first for my iLover then argued with the nurse that my husband couldn't possibly be back yet from dropping off my kids at school) but soon realized my foot was an entirely new being - and it hurt like a motherf*cker when I tried to sit up. Now I was truly at the mercy of that right foot; if I didn't cater to its every whim, my life would be Hell for a month. Its first whim was a dose of Vicodin every two hours, followed closely by being propped on a pillow like Cinderella's precious shoe every minute of the day. Both of these things ensured I did nothing 'normal' for two entire weeks - no compulsive straightening, rearranging, putting away, getting, doing; not even any meaningful reading because I was constantly on the verge of sleep.

My right foot, while not remotely as majestic as Christy Brown's left one, has taught me some lessons in humility, patience, and meaningful actions. Certainly it has resorted to pain again to teach those lessons, but at least now I feel it is more my wise ally than my cruel warden.

Hello, beautiful friend.


Fantastic Forrest said...

It IS an odd thing when a part of you demands special treatment. It's amazing how much one little bit can put all of you out of commission. I'm glad this is behind you!

Your google ads widget is touting painless bunion surgery. Somehow, I have my doubts....

Be well! XO

Ami said...

Funny how parts take on a life of their own!

Now make sure you wear comfy shoes and stay off your feet as much as possible.

I'm sure you know at least one person who will encourage you to keep your legs up.


Shana said...

You taught that sassy bunion who was boss. I am sure the rest of your appendages will now behave, lest they face your wrath and possible amputation.

PS: Happy New Year to you and yours : )

PPSS: I am posting this a second time because the first time it disappeared. WTH? Perhaps your bunion is now in the ether, wrecking havoc.

PPPSSS: My word verification word is "werowani," which I am pretty sure is some kind of a bunion related werewolf.

JCK said...

Happy New Year to you and your foot! I'm glad you are on the road to recovery and will toast you when you are back in fun shoes. Well, I'll toast you before that, too. :) Sometimes these forced still times are important...

Angie McCullagh said...

I followed your bunion-opera on Facebook. And I just have to say...ouch! Glad you made it through.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You need to treat that foot to a very comfortable pair of shoes--I like Born myself!

Janet said...

You are brilliant...and funny!!! I have bunions, too, but knock on wood, they don't hurt. saliz

262mom said...

Looks ver nice. Do you have a before pic? Does the L one need surg too? My B's really don't like my running at all, and while some doctors are surprised at their size, haven't really told me to stop :) Hope you are on the mend soon.

Gretchen said...

So how does one get a bunion? Will you get one on your left foot too? Will I catch one since I may have brushed up against your foot at the cantina? (just kidding)


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