Tuesday, March 13, 2007

mark wahlberg, music, & male pattern blindness

I just wanted to get your attention and have a good excuse to post this picture. You're welcome. (And if that's not enough to get your pulse hopping, try this. Yeah, can you feel it?)
Now catch this amazing segue way: Speaking of music...Much to my surprise, lately I've found myself actually liking The Pussycat Dolls. Even "Don't Cha," which should offend me on so many levels - not the least of which is the wince-worthy grammar throughout. But at the risk of annihilating the entire women's movement, I have to say this song is more entertaining than infuriating. It's definitely hard to resist moving to, so it really puts the words into the mouths of ladies on the dance floor. So technically I could be the hottie imploring some hapless man to cheat on his girlfriend. If I were to be so bold as to actually dance, in a public place, that is. But still. And in the end, the song suggests the 'girlfriend' is a smart, good girl (there's that damned image again) and it is better for the hapless man to stay with her, even though he really really wants the Pussycat. Anyhow, yes, I am wholeheartedly endorsing the Dolls if you need a dose of naughty sometime.
Finally today, this just in: Male Pattern Blindness is on the rise in the Spencer household. We preface this report with a disclaimer stating that the Misters Spencer are overall fine individuals in most very important ways. That said, following are the latest incidents to befall their home.
Monday, March 12, 2007: Young Mr. Spencer arrived home from school and was told to please (for the fourth time in two days) vacuum the errant shavings from Mario the Hamster's cage that littered Young Mr. Spencer's bedroom floor; YMS entered his bedroom, looked directly at the small piles strewn around and said, "Do you mean these?" His mother, after taking several deep breaths, replied, "Yes, darling."
Tuesday, March 13, 2007: Elder Mr. Spencer announced that he wasn't taking his father to the airport today but instead on the 13th. His wife, after taking several deep breaths, stated, "Today is the 13th, darling." To which EMS replied, looking directly at the calendar on the bathroom counter, "No it's not."

Be aware that Male Pattern Blindness is highly contagious and can afflict its host at any time, in any situation. Often, the patient is unaware of his infection. There is no known cure, but the best remedy is for the parent/partner to take deep breaths and retire to a separate room (preferably one with a locking door and secret stash of chocolate) for many hours.