I'm the kind of person who is always thinking of how other people will see (judge) her. Sad, I know. I want to change, and sometimes can look like I don't care, but it's just not happening. Case in point today: I have written a short list (I do that occasionally) of things to do today, and as I did so my mind wandered to wondering what someone would conclude about me based on this list. This is a long-time, deep-set mania, but it's been exacerbated by the guys at Found.
Stu & I first heard about them when the founder, Davy Rothbart, spoke about it in a piece on This American Life. It was a completely fascinating concept, and I became obsessed with finding things to send in. Simultaneously, I noticed myself creating lists while considering the possibility of them being found and dissected. Suddenly I was making up abbreviations and code words for potentially embarrassing things to buy and appointments to make. If I absolutely must write out exactly what I need, that list becomes like the Magna Carta and is protected with ferocity. It is madness.
Today, as a first step toward conquering this neurosis, I will reveal the contents of my list. Make of it what you will.
put rice cooker on freecycle
Go ahead, post your lists, if you dare expose yourself. Then go check out this one. See? You've totally judged this poor woman just because she needed tampons and 'frozen healthy shit.' Geez.