Wednesday, July 8, 2009

looking back ~ PROMPTuesday/Wednesday

San Diego Momma has posed a vexing question today - If you could live one year of your life over again in the identical way, which year would it be and why? Which I have to answer in 10 minutes and fewer than 150 words; both criteria are daunting to me, who loves to make a short story long. But I digress. [sigh. See??]

My immediate thought about living one year over again was: Freshman year at Washington State University. But. Living that year in the identical way?

I went in with a 3.56 GPA from high school and slunked out with a 1.14, which seems generous considering I cannot recall a single class I attended during the last six weeks of spring semester.

I went in with a best friend since 7th grade and left with no one to cushion the blow when my parents unleashed their rage & sadness.

I went in with the least amount of experience possible with boys and came away with...more.

Particularly from my grown-up perspective, as a mother & teacher, that year seems abominable. I cringe to recall certain images of my 18-year old self during that year.

I discovered my voice that year - I discovered I had a voice, and it was loud & bawdy & confident & smarter than it let on in my small hometown.

I examined my limits - with friends, with food, with alcohol, with time, with money, with my body.

I explored - geography, music, movies, relationships, my own beliefs & desires & dreams.

I learned to like myself, love myself, rely on myself, believe in myself.

I think I am a far better woman, wife, mom & teacher than I would have been without that year.

So yes, 1986/87, bring it.