Monday, March 8, 2010

hopeful but helpless

Following my silly state of paralysis over nothing of substance, I am now finding myself in a constant state of Being Busy. Certainly I actually have tasks to complete, but Being Busy also keeps me from thinking too long and hard about difficult situations. Before last week I was Being Busy not worrying about the upcoming deadline for our [notveryfaralong] yearbook, an unstartedfinished online class, and renewing my teaching certificate on time. Then came Monday, with news of a student critically injured in a car accident over the weekend.

Even as my principal relayed the details I was already Being Busy, physically & mentally - furrowing my brow, clenching my jaw, nodding my head, asking about the student's brother who is in my freshman English class, and preparing what to say to that class later in the day. I could not let my mind linger over the facts that this boy is only 16; that he was alone in the wreckage for at least an hour before discovery; that no one knows what damage to his body is permanent.

A week later I have accomplished numerous little chores - sorting books in my classroom, planning a popcorn day for students, starting that online course, buying new underwear & socks for my kids, readying the house for my Oscar party. If I am not in motion or keeping my brain moving forward, I will collapse from the unbearable sadness for our boy.