Monday, April 13, 2009

for god so loved bad mom...

I am just going to start this post with the word blasphemy because it's fun to say, and it means exactly what I'll be talking about.

Scene: Easter Sunday; Bad Mom tardily slides into an empty seat at the back of the congregation

Act 1: Singing, standing [except me and my supportive husband], more singing, more standing/sitting, some praying

Act 2: Pastor shows clip of movie about The Resurrection wherein Mary Magdalene rushes to the tomb to find it empty then rushes to alert Peter & John who run back to see for themselves before running off to tell the other disciples while Mary cries. Then Mary sees the angels and hears a voice, presumably from "a gardener" tending a plant across the way. She responds and moves toward him but, as the story goes, cannot yet identify him as he speaks. Finally they are next to each other and Jesus reveals himself by showing his scarred hands and removing his hood.

Act 3: I silently freak out upon realizing Jesus is Desmond from LOST.

Act 4: No real idea as for the remainder of the service my brain was stuck on how hot Jesus was.
The End.
(Happy Easter!)

27 comments:

Jen on the Edge said...

Yep, you're going to Hell.

I'll see you there.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Fires. Very hot fires.

At least it'll be steamy down there, right?

LarryG said...

well! duh!
so not only did you work the b word really hot and heavy,
you've single-handedly divulged the key to that most twisted show "Lost"
and that island is no island but in fact it is the west bank!

Janet said...

omg thanks be to Desmond I won't be the only one there!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It's nice to see a good Christian rock the blasphemy.

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

You did very well. I don't know that I could have behaved properly; I might have eye contact with someone and the giggling would begin.

brandy101 said...

We dont get movies in our services; just pew aerobics: Stand, sit, sing, stand, sing, sit, stand, sing, kneel, stand, shake hands, sing, kneel, walk up aisle, kneel, sit, stand, exit.

How do you like that choreography?!

Fantastic Forrest said...

Wow. That is too funny! And it is the first I realized that you and Stu are such religious rebels.

You have officially inspired me.

Yet again.

Your blasphemy is so tame compared to the goings-on in my Trailer for Tuesday post. Which I am now writing.

phd in yogurtry said...

Little did the preacher know what effect he was having on his flock.

angel said...

Ooh I hate when that happens!

Stu said...

I though you might find Jesus hot...

-Stu

LarryG said...

the title for this post has such theological significance...

"We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us." ~ some modern translation of Ephesians 2 that non-movie watching Christians think is part of the b-conspiracy ;) ~ the message

~Swankymama said...

I laughed til I cried on this one. You are insanely witty. :o)))

Shana said...

OMG. I would not have been able to sit on that one. I would have been whispering to everyone around me, IS THAT DESMOND? IS THAT DESMOND? And being a general spaz. So good job.

If they work this into the Lost plot line, that would be awesome.

Karen said...

I'd go to church more often if they were showing movies with Desmond as Jesus! Of course lightening would probably strike me dead for my sinful thoughts, so maybe I better just stay home. LOL!

Miss Healthypants said...

LOL! I loved this--found you in a link from Fantastic Forrest's blog. Too funny! :)

Fantastic Forrest said...

Oh, sure, Miss Healthypants. But did you comment on my post, let alone LOL? I think not.

Humph. Everyone loves Bad Mom more than me.

Even me.

Miss Healthypants said...

I SO commented on your blog, Forrest!! *grin*

Fantastic Forrest said...

Yeah, like at the same time I was complaining - AFTER you visited Bad Mom.

And a grin, while nice, is not a LOL.

I just don't have what it takes. And I blaspheme a lot more than Bad Mom ever will!!

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Ladies - let's not fight over me. What would Jesus think? hehe

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Rock me sexy Jesus.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

In case you missed Hamlet 2:

Rock Me Sexy Jesus

Moxy Jane said...

ok...my biggest childhood crush?? The actor who played Jesus in Jesus of Nazareth. I have not been able to bring myself to Google him. But he was AMAZING!! Oh, and Olivia Hussey played Mary, so there was something for the menfolk, too...or the ladies who like ladies. Wow, now who's going to HELL????

I also think it's really funny, ha ha, that your pastor showed a video clip on Easter Sunday to tell the Resurrection story. Whatever happened to skits? Or dramatic readings?? Or hallelujah choirs?

Moxy Jane said...

And yes, God DOES love Bad Mom;-)

Yarni Gras! said...

ROTFLMAO.....too funny. But ya know, you ARE gonna burn for that, right?

Lisa said...

Hey - I bet even Jesus likes a compliment once in a while.

Suzanne said...

Bwahaha...

Yeah, you're in trouble. And I'm in trouble for laughing.

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