I am just going to start this post with the word blasphemy because it's fun to say, and it means exactly what I'll be talking about.
Scene: Easter Sunday; Bad Mom tardily slides into an empty seat at the back of the congregation
Act 1: Singing, standing [except me and my supportive husband], more singing, more standing/sitting, some praying
Act 2: Pastor shows clip of movie about The Resurrection wherein Mary Magdalene rushes to the tomb to find it empty then rushes to alert Peter & John who run back to see for themselves before running off to tell the other disciples while Mary cries. Then Mary sees the angels and hears a voice, presumably from "a gardener" tending a plant across the way. She responds and moves toward him but, as the story goes, cannot yet identify him as he speaks. Finally they are next to each other and Jesus reveals himself by showing his scarred hands and removing his hood.
Act 3: I silently freak out upon realizing Jesus is Desmond from LOST.
Act 4: No real idea as for the remainder of the service my brain was stuck on how hot Jesus was.