Guest Post #3

I was supposed to have guest posted for Bad Mom a couple times this week and was lax in my duties. While my wife is tackling every piece of clothing this family owns in the form of dirty laundry, I'm stepping back to the plate.

Normally I post something rather smarmy and sassy when asked to guest post, AKA "I am le tired, post for me", but lately the marriage of our closest friends and neighbors is on the teetering point of ending. It is times like this when you look at you own relationship and ask yourself if you are doing OK, am I going to get clobbered with "I'm done, I'm leaving you"?

With all that is transpiring, Stephanie has been giving me some sideways glances, some pointed questions, and some outright statements about our relationship. We have had some good yet teary conversations; Stephanie does not like to be wrong corrected mistaken and I load the dishwasher incorrectly, dry clothes that should be hung, and can be a bit oversexed. She is Woman and I am Man.

Now, not to suggest that I believe we too are on the rocks, if anything I think it has brought us a bit closer. I terribly miss going out as a foursome, it hurts my soul, but I really enjoy just being the two of us sometimes. Our world is not perfect, we are sometimes tired, snippy and unkind. We more often laugh, goof and support. In the end my woman is good to me and I try to be good to her, even if I can't remember to not put my coffee stirring spoon in the clean sink.

I love you Bad Mom, now let's go mess up those freshly laundered sheets. Whoops, there I go again...

-Stu

I'm going for drinks with the ladies, post for me

As I am leaving to drop Stephanie and Lisa off at Roots to meet with some other local bloggers, (slow down, I don't know who all is coming and I am sure there will be pictures and such), Stephanie says, "You can post for me, right?". I threatened to just post a naked picture of me but this is a family friendly blog unless I let a "no fuckin' way" slip. Whoops, there I go...

So the last time I posted, I showed the destruction of the carpeted stairs. Now, for any of you in Blogland who think that those stairs got finished before Stephanie got home that weekend, you don't live with a man who does any sort of project around the house. Project Time is sort of like the last 2 minutes of a football game: take stated time and multiply by 5. Since this has been explained for any of the uninitiated, I will show you where the stairs are now:

lower stairs and skirt board installed (still need to put trim on skirt board)

Yes, yes, this is taking a lonnnnnnnnnng time, but I warned the family when I started. Fitting and finshing each tread is crazy time consuming. No wonder the quote to get them done was as much as the entire downstairs. I have the upper stairs done but can't install them until the landing is finished (just got the shipment of wood yesterday). I did at least take all the junk to the dump so our front porch does not scream 'white trash lives here'.

I'll post pictures of the finished product in a couple days ;]

-Stu

And then I sent her shopping

Sorry folks, The Woman is not here right now and you bloggers know that the world will collapse if there is not a new post every day here at Bad Mom Central.

Stephanie had a grand plan to hang out with the girls tonight. Jen and Lisa could not hit the town tonight so we settled in at Jen's for pizza. After pizza there was mention of shopping (and groaning from Jen, she does not crave mall air like my wife does). I shooed them out of the house and Mason and I cozied up on the couch to watch the Simpson's Movie (he just made the age in our house when you can watch the Simpsons). Our girl is on a Girl Scouts camping trip so it was me and the boy watching our favorite yellow dysfunctional family. It was fun, just me and my boy.

The Woman just got home so I need to go. Maybe I can benefit from her shopping trip giddiness...

-Stu

Guest Post #2

That's right folks, I'm back for another "I'm too tired, can you post for me?" post. I tried to convince The Woman that she really does not need a post every day, to which she plopped the laptop into my lap and said "post something and be nice".

I have noticed a theme in several of the recent comments, that show a certain concern that Stephanie is some sort of Cougar/lush/looking-for-an-affair sort of gal. I just wanted to confirm these fears are totally true...

I am kidding. My wife and I have a solid marriage and I have never had any reason to doubt her intentions in almost 19 years of being together. She loves to talk (a lot) and ends up chatting with lots of people. When she drinks she talks more. And, if you are going to have a conversation with someone, you want to pick the cute ones right?

She works hard to be a good mom/teacher/wife and I am glad she gets to go out and whoop it up from time to time whether it is with me or friends.

As for the grocery boy; Stephanie has had clippings of cute guys from magazines and movie posters since I have known her. She has always been able to spot the cute guy in the crowd, but she always stands by me. She is a good wingman.

I know, not my usual total smart ass style, but I'll save that for when I comment on your blog.

-Bad Dad

Guest Post #1

Well ladies and gentlemen, you may notice this post does not have the normal witty Bad Momness this blog usually possesses. That's because this is actually Bad Dad pinch hitting this evening.

Stephanie has 'recovered' from being sick and has been hinting at getting back to more normal 'the-kids-are-in-bed' evenings. There was even a trip to Victoria's Secret by The Woman today. I got the kids in bed, went upstairs to pitch a little woo (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) and was greeted by a 99% asleep, fully dressed wife, curled up in bed. At 8 pm.

Me: "So, I guess we're not making out tonight?"
Bad Mom: "hmphhh, huhh? No, but I need you to post for me"
Me: "So, we are not making out?"
BM: "You need to post for me."
Me: "Is 'post' secret code for making out?"
BM: "no"
Me: "shit"

So here I am. Typing. Normally I am on the comment side of all of your blogs so my smart ass quips can be short and sweet. I am not much of a typist and am much better in the moment of a conversation (go ahead, buy me a drink sometime and put me to the test). I am more of a stand-up than an author. I am impressed by all of you that can lay down paragraph after paragraph of worthwhile reading.

Well, I have satisfied my requirement of a post. I think I'll try to wake up The Woman, wish me luck, or her, depending on who's side you are on.....

-Stu